I've walked on earth for 19 years now.. many irritating and despicable people I've seen before.. people slandering, wronging others, blaming, accusing... its not surprising that people hold anger in their hearts towards to these people... i remember uncle Kenny talking bout rotten potatoes, everytime a child got angry the teacher would put a potato in his bag, soon the bag grew heavy and it started to reek of rotten potatoes.. and the child even got used to the smell, he even loved the smell.. it was a sweet sensation to him thinking about how he could take revenge on the people who hurt him. people around the boy can smell stench.. other people can feel it. people can see.. dont think that others do not know wads in you.

for me i dont hold grudges.. i always dun keep them more than a day.. its just me.. im always ready to forgive all the hurts even when others dont need my forgiveness. however trusting them is much harder than before. Though sometimes i seem like i do not care or i do not know.. i do know many things happening around me.. people are changing, being cruel, selfish, only think abt "they,themselves and them" people who were once nice and kind changed to be bad because they could not get wad they wanted. Even when we couldnt understand why people do certain things that really pisses us off... make it a point to let it go... be free, dont keep the load of rotten potatoes.. the load will be so heavy one day that it takes the toll of u.

Today i saw this documentary its about the tortures in the olden days. One of which i think its the most sadistic and most cruel is the "bull of Phalaris"

so wad is this bull about?

it was said that this bull is made of copper and there's a heating system below the bull's belly. There's a cover at the back of the bull which is use to lock the victim inside, a complex system of tube is made in the head of the bull which is for the victim to scream into and create the sound of the bull.

The artist showed the Phalaris his invention and believed that he will gain a reward. the artist told the Phalaris that this bull will produce the sound of the bellowing of a infuriated bull. So Phalaris told him to test it for him to hear, in the end when the artist was inside blowing the "trumpet" in the bull, the Phalaris shut the back of the bull and started the fire.. and it worked as promised.

When i saw the documentary i am so glad i didnt live during that time. As long as the Phalaris like it.. he threw people in just for the entertainment of "bull's music" and the smell of burnt human incense during his feasting. Not only the condemned are threw in, many innocent people were tortured too. If i were the Phalaris's slave.. i think ill be one of the first to be thrown in already =/

So really makes me think, if people really hold anger.. they wanna take revenge so much, their mind think of really cruel thoughts of taking revenge. One day they cannot feel the pain they can do to others, sympathy into sensation. and it hurts so good to let go of such sensations. And they cannot see humans as humans anymore.. they could only see themsleves as humans and others as animals... their own desires are more important than the feeling of others. "someone took my seat, throw them in the bull", "ok.. he stole my things, he shall be in the brazing bull", "he accuse me for nothing, in the bull u go~". One day people would really change to be so degrading.. concerned only about their own interests, and rotten potatoes that can accumulated so much as the flow of the legacy of the Bull of Phalaris.