My Rendezvous with the past and future.

Broken

2010-02-16T08:31:00.000-08:00

I had been feeling so unhappy and upset lately.. because of my family. I do not know why they behave they way they do, think the way they do. Well, neither am i perfect but at least i dun choke my imperfection onto others. And when i grow up, i dont wanna be the least like them at all.

Today was my breaking point, i cannot take it anymore. My problems, my situations.. i told people around me about it. and they feel sorry for me. The more i talked about my problems the better i feel.. and i cried. So much worries... so much agony... please get away from me.

Thanks for helping me guys.. though its a small initiative. it goes a long way.. it touched my heart deeply.

Bad Memory

2010-02-14T03:07:00.000-08:00

I wasnt wrong about it at all. Many times i feel that im blessed with a bad memory, most people think its a flaw.. but im nevertheless proud of my bad memory.

Look at quotes of happiness about bad memory:
"One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory"
-Rita Mae Brown

"Happiness is good health and a bad memory"
-Ingrid Bergman

"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory."
-Albert Schweitzer

"I have memories- but only a fool stores his past in the future"
-David Gerrold

yes, there are good memories in life. But nevertheless, do not live in the past. look forward and walk straight. Dont look back.

When I Say Jump You Say How High

2010-02-07T06:07:00.000-08:00

No more obligations, no more submitting.
i want freedom
Lots and lots of freedom!
when i move,
move too..

Or leave..

i dun wanna stand your nonsense.

Fresh Air

2010-02-06T08:37:00.000-08:00

I feel so much freedom now.
Im off from sch stuffs... at least for most of it.
and i feel so single now. >.< if only good friends with a guy friend dont involve feelings.

i used to think being loved is the greatest feeling on earth. But now i beg to differ.. if the guy i love; loves me back then its a great feeling. Either than that..... i rather not have.

Ahh...
lets go out and chill Jordan.

Only What You Like

2010-02-02T07:18:00.000-08:00

In life there is many people or situations in which we face but we do not like. People who you cant click with, people who talk negative stuffs, people who behave the way they do. When you feel you dont belong then dont force yourself. Because life is too short not to be with those u love and cherish.
When encountering situations you have no choice but to go through it. Just try to enjoy as much as you can. It will pass. and when it pass... remember how much u suffered, so u cherish the current moment.
Forget your worries...
breathe in fresh air..

I dont wanan face these anymore.

You Dont Know

2010-02-01T08:02:00.001-08:00

F off... u dont know what is love.

love is a two person thing. If u choose to love me one-sided then dont bug me when i fly. Dun weigh me down like u own me. I do what i Want! u have no rights!

Be With You But Not Yours

2010-01-30T09:20:00.000-08:00

Please dont fall in love with me.

I dont want to ever hurt you.

I just want to be with myself.. I wanna experience life with passion and vibe, free to roam. Unless you can move with my flow. Dont.... Come near me.

Lost In Time

2010-01-18T07:14:00.000-08:00

As i grow older, experience all sorts of things in life to make one stronger. I start to wonder...
After so many trials and turbulence thats supposed to make me wiser, made me more kiddy. I dont think i have grown, my thoughts are still of a kid's.
I am dependant on others, afraid to face problems, fear being hurt...
I became less thoughtful of my own actions. Y is that so?
I asked myself...
Once someone told me i am bright but i chose not to grow.. I answered, life is too short to worry or care too much.. i live for the moment. I dont wana worry about tomorrow, there's enough worries everyday itself.

Frankly, im glad to be a kid.
I wanna be pampered, spoilt, forgiven and loved. In this life im so deprived already, gimme a chance to be a kid i always want to be.

I felt that ive became so small.. no naive.. i dont see the world having boundaries or borders... cant people see love is what makes the world goes round. Why must people fight for their own interests? only think about themselves. If everybody can see each other as themselves, humans, kids... everybody are brothers and sisters. What a beautiful world to live in.

yesterday Jordan ask me to go backpacking after we're done with our school craps. I said "yeah... i wanna see the world =) but im also afriad"
im afraid to be out of my safety zone.
he answered " dont worry i'll protect u"
and Jordan is 4 years younger than me.

Crap! im a Kid.

If It Werent For You

2010-01-13T04:55:00.000-08:00

If i ever look back in my life.
its the people who cared for me who brought me to where i am.
Through bad times i still feel warmth. Because of your presence.
I wont be lonely, because i know ill always have you.
Even when im not the best person to be with im still thought of.

You always try to smile when im upset.

Tho it never worked.
still glad u tried.

No matter how hard the rain will pour on us. I know we need each other. We're going to go through this even when its tough.

Right to the end.

Stupid Cupid

2010-01-06T05:32:00.000-08:00

Last on my mind,
the last guy in my list.

but the feelings were for u.

Can u please get lost?

Outta my life...

Then?

2010-01-04T06:59:00.000-08:00

Life is too beautiful to waste on things that dont matter

Enjoy!

facebook

2010-01-03T06:47:00.000-08:00

Recently, i had been logging in to facebook.

wow. how people have grown >.<

In love With Devil

2010-01-01T06:50:00.000-08:00

An innocent life,
u took and broke it.

left bleeding and torn, u turn your back with no remorse.
can u hear the cries?

how can u say that u love someone that u don't.

tender sweetness of love fall in the hands of the devil.
crushed into dust, pulverised into the air and forgotten.

Forever Im Your Girl

2009-09-13T22:04:00.000-07:00

"Forever you're my girl"

you're my one and only

When i look in your eyes it makes me want to hold you

its making me anxious

When i hold your hand it makes me want to have you

but when i tell you my feelings you say no

Having searched for you this far like a wanderer

I still shiver from you, just like the first time

Your lips and your smile

give me breath again

"Forever you're my girl"

"Forever be my world"

"You are the only one"

It was a meaningless dream of my life

I start to feel alive

when i'm with you

I'll stay by your side and protect you forever

"you're the one"

I want to show you how i feel

tonight i can't fall sleep holding the phone in agony

I didn't really know you well but those eyes were whispering to me

telling me to come closer and asking me to kiss you

I've hurt you so far

like the others who hurt you

but i'll never leave you...

Your lips and your smile

give me breath again

"Forever you're my girl"

"Forever be my world"

"You are the only one"

It was a meaningless dream of my life

I start to feel alive

when I'm with you

I'll stay by your side and protect you forever

"Yo, Kush"

"You're the one"

That girl's smell was so sweet

When the sun sets and the moon rises

That's the dangerous uncontrolled part of my mind

People live in a "vast ocean"

I've got a soft "pillow" for you

"ok" don't worry about any of the waves

I'm gonna be your "compass"

"Honey brown with the long black hair"

"so beautiful and so damn rare"

only you bring me to life

Even if i cant see you

I can still feel you

"You make everything alright girl"

"Forever you're my girl"

When i look in your eyes

I can feel it

you really want me too

Tonight i want to grab your hand and kiss passionately "girl"

and tell you how much I love you

"Forever you're my girl"

"Forever be my world"

"You are the only one"

It was a meaningless dream of my life

I start to feel alive

when I'm with you

I'll stay by your side and protect you forever

"You're the one"

"I'm nothing without you"

"I'm nothing without you girl"

"I'm nothing without you"

"I'm nothing without you girl"

"You're my love"

Simple

2009-09-05T07:08:00.000-07:00

Was it me? was it the weather? was it the people around me?
does it really matter at all? i went out to view the beautiful skies and the peaceful gushing of the sea water. Sometimes, its just so blissful not to know too much things.

I sat down my my friend near the coast, just enjoying the cool breeze blowing onto our faces. Talk alot of stuffs, im impressed about how he remember almost everything about me. That shows how good his memory is, not only that, but how important i am a friend to him.

We watched the sea and the cruise passed by.

"i wanna see the advertisement you did for the ship"
i was alittle confused. "advertisement for the ship?"
"yeah, u told me they took videos of you snorkeling and stuffs"
hahx, i was laughing in myself, he remembers. "yeah, but its in the ship, u need to get into the ship to see it."
"okay, we'll consider it one day"

No.1 I like him for being so on.
No.2 Dont think too much (what if this and that happens, clashes, blah blah)
No.3 Say and its done.
No.4 nice and frank
No.5 100% real (saw his dinning etiquette today hahx)
No.6 Not petty at all!
No.7 Talk too much, but its good. (Thank god i wasnt pissed yet bro)
I can go on forever and ever.

Hey bro, u rocks yo. God must had spent alittle more time on you. haha..
There's so many dudes in the world, but somebody like him that put others before self. Such selflessness, he view every individual as gems and diamonds. So important. There's nobody he know that he didnt help before.
Cheeros, thank god for knowing you.
thanks for the lemons btw, it rocks big time. xD

BlogSkin

2009-09-04T08:52:00.000-07:00

Its been a long time. Ever since my last blogskin's fatality, i've lost interest in blogging already.
Im gonna revive this blog again.
Its gonna breathe, Its pumping.

Kelvin. U said it and i done it.
Thats how deep the love.
Rawr.

Lol.

Little Princess

2009-06-16T05:22:00.000-07:00

i just want the love & care

i Need.

Fall again and again.

Still love you.

With or without you.

Doesn't matter.

In my Dreams

Princess and Charming

~* Sweet Dreams, Sweet Memories, Sweet Wishes*~

Scrape Through

2009-06-14T17:44:00.000-07:00

Today morning i was very tired. Its hard to believe its monday again. I miss holidays.. So deprived of holidays. I went to work with the relaxed mood, slept in the office for awhile.
Well.. not to worry.
i slept because i felt that i was early.
so.. not considered as sleeping on the job right? haha ^^ hope so.
Then i was doing some small work, like drawing ans surfing the company's updates on trackings. Then suddenly i heard a familiar voice."Morning"
who is it?
my sleepy eyes opened widely that the CEO was shocked himself.
"why your eyes open so big?"
lol.. scary!
i was so shocked and and sleepy that i look at him with a smiley stone face. My brain still not working.. so duno how else to react. hahx..
Ooh well.. luckily he didnt see me sleep just now x)

Back to work.

I heard he have 2 weeks holiday. But he had to come back for smth. I need to be on guard esp. for now.

Muarcks. Still love my life. ;)

NG

2009-06-14T08:01:00.000-07:00

Dont Come Near Me

2009-06-10T23:24:00.000-07:00

I think it was yesterday.. or was it the day before yesterday? goosh goosh.
Forgot
well anyways.. bad news.. Richard Lim made a suprise visit to The Singapore Mint looking for me and Hwee Leng.
it was after lunch that we saw him sitting near the receptionist.
My first thought was.. did he come here to sign our weekly report?
look at his face.
Black.
Hmm.... perhaps no.
"i wanna talk to you two" he said.
Okays.. sounds bad.

We went to second floor where we sat around the coffee table. It was me and HL sleeping at the job.
Okays..... haha... he sounds unhappy. Well, Richard always makes everything seems very important and fatal. He said he was prepared to take us back. And we will fail attachment... O.O! i look at HL... she look cool and calm. Bah!
Well... we explained that we did tried very hard to stay awake.
Me and HL have legacy of sleeping during classes. Hmmps... dunno why Richard say we are good students when he doesnt know us well.. and said he trust us thats why put us in Mint. Ooh well... he always talk seriously that i dunno when he is just saying.
"your FYP also not very good ar"
Thanks ar Richard =.= gimme high expectations and when i fall hard, u nv show sympathy.
Then dunno how we chatted.. then from serious mood become casual. Hmmps...
Then he left.
Then... need to apologize to Stephanie.

Me now still one piece in da office.
i did prayed hard.
haha... God always love me okays!

Argh... me have many happenings during my long break from blogging. but i cannot retrieve photos yet. And my forgetful brain is leaking memories... hopefully can post me story here asap ^-^

Ooh ya... i am not happy with my brother for drinking my vitagen yesterday. ZZzzz! me getting slimmer because of him.. he eats my food! Now he's getting fatter, he claims he's "tank" but fact is "flabby".
Teeheee xD

Ytd i played Garena, Dota. i randomed Geomancer... argh! i use geomancer always feeder one. Then i very reluctant to repick.. coz.. 100 gold ma >.< forgot how much, dun wanna waste gold correct liao. Then guess what.. i got 11 kills to 0 deaths... hahaha.... i OWNZ...!!!
Love yer..

Misses all my friends and buddies.

All Good Things Come to An End

2009-06-07T18:31:00.000-07:00

Aaa...aa Aaa~

Honestly, what will become of me?
Dont like reality
Its way too clear for me
But life is really dandy
We are what we dont see
Missed everything daydreaming

Flames to dust
lovers to friends
why do all good things come to an end

come to an end
come to an...
why do all good things come to an,
come to an end
come to an end

Well the dogs are barking at the new moon
whistling a new tune
Hoping it could come soon

so that they could...

And the sun was wondering
if it should stay away for the day
till the feeling went away

And the sky was falling on the
clouds were dropping and
The rain forgot how to bring
salvation

The dogs were barking at the new moon
whistling a new tune
hoping it could come soon
so that could die...
die.......... Die................ DIe~ ~ ~

so that it could die.

Karasu

2009-06-07T05:23:00.000-07:00

Finally

2009-06-01T20:04:00.000-07:00

Shh... in office now.
trying to type.
using The Singapore Mint's lousy, slow orbit Fujitsu laptop.
Wonder if i am tracked doing anything on this lappy.
so i better be prudent about my words xD

Just ended FYP. But aint happy yo...
I was sweating blood doing FYP. Then in the End. The prototype drop on the floor.
Then bye bye.
ZZZzz..
Then i got 3 months intership. I wonder where to find the tym to edit my stuffs.
Richard Lim not happy. Coz... not good ma. cannot bring to exhibition.
Me ar..
numb le.
good or not.
sian sian liao.
no feelings..
Give fate play until like that. Me also sian liaox.
just work hard and do wadeva that wadeva is.

LET IT ROCK.
Man.. i love the MP3. Thanks Wind. Damn boring in office now.
trying to act busy.
example typing alot on the laptop.
but.
too bad.
They dunno im blogging.
haha..
450 per month.
1 day hard to pass le.
but never mind.
i sorta like wad im doing now.
Then After my intership..
im getting me Baby. $320

When i got my baby.
ill post him on the blog so u people know how adorable it is. ;D

Tata~

Me Me You You

2009-04-17T20:23:00.000-07:00

Hahx.. thanks ifran for your taggy. Ive been really busy so sorry. Haha.. just past my second panel so im free for now. Ill post more just fer you. xD

Me in Bugis, theres more pictures but i forgot to take them, coz i was busy putting pictures together =/

This is Winston. So sad... his camera landed into my hands so.. no Mercy.

The next day i went to cut hair with Zul. JEALOUS OR NOT? stupid passerby. Hohoho. and this is me xD

Very blurr and dark. Well... most of you who know me. u get why. my handphone sucks.

Blah.. thats all for now.. xD

Busy

2009-04-12T06:08:00.000-07:00

So sorry people.. have not been updating my blog for ages right? lol. been REAlly Really REALLY busy with school work.

Went to Guardian today to find comb, while looking for combs this promoter came to me. Well, i guess its normal that such things happens to us girls right? xD she's from China. Then she talked alot, her Chinese very deep.. i cannot understand so i just kept nodding, she insist i should buy the cleanser and spray coz its a good buy and good product. Finally i felt that there's no end to this if i kept making lame excuses.. so i buy lor... then she Hugged me =/

After which i went home, and wad the heck.. i kana eye infection. So i went back to Jp for the pharmacy. I went Watsons coz Guardian got that China promoter. Unfortunately Watsons didnt sell the anti-biotic. So, Went back to........ Guardian.

Look right look left. My heart beats very fast. This is really scary. Heng, when i peep at the edge of the shelf, she wasnt there. So i went to the pharmacy and got my stuff, quickly went to the cashier... almost my turn. THEn..... to my sup rise when i turn right, she just came back from her lunch break. she smiled and said "hi!" and spanked my butt.

Ooooo.... my dignity. so... bitter sweet.

Butterfly

2009-04-05T06:22:00.000-07:00

True belonging doesnt come from manipulations. When a child is young he/she always tag on their moms because their moms are seen as the greatest and if they leave their mom they will "die". When a child grow up and begin to see the world, how many child still went back for their moms?

So as it is true.. To truly belong is when you spread ur wings to fly and see the world. I gave u all my answers of truth, you may not like it.. or some truth may make u leave me. I do not mind, im not selfish to hold onto you this way... If u return to me, then it'll truly be...

I may not be the best.. nor have i done everything right, i have much to learn, much to change. Im frank of who i am.. so see.. and fly... butterfly...

..... . .. .... .. .. .
When you love someone so deeply,they become your life. It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside. Blindly I imaged I could, keep you under glass. Now I understand to hold you i must open my hands and watch you rise.

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
OooooOoo... Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
SoOoooo spread your wings and fly.... Butterfly.

I have learned that beauty has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage to be all that I can.
And truly feel your heart will lead you back to me when you're Ready to land

I can't pretend these tears aren't overflowing steadily. I can't prevent this hurt from almost overtaking me. But I will stand and say goodbye. For you'll never be mine. Until you know the way it feels to fly!

So flutter through the sky...... Butterfly......
Spread your wings and fly....... Butterfly.

For Fazul

2009-04-04T09:03:00.000-07:00

i love you

D.M.C

2009-04-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

Today was a short day for school because the pdi students were asked to help out the at the final year exhibitions in jurong east library.. i was the usher and tending the refreshments, it was hard work Rawr! lol.. after which is to meet Winston.

Winston didnt came with us because he was the drummer for his band to perform for the newcomers in school. Aww... very sad that i couldnt get to see him perform live =(

Anyways, we met him in dhouby ghuat to watch movie together and have Tom Yam Soup, hahaha.. he says that he wanna intro to a place whereby the ty.soup is very nice.. He was very persistent that i must come or he wont eat tom yam soup. Coz i said i may not be meeting, coz my friend book me 2 weeks earlier to go swimming with her and some other friends. But today simply was a bad day to go for swimming xD

SORRY ELAINE, GRACE AND YISHI!

We went Cathay, there were Joey,Joyce,Yishan and myself. and we went to look for Winston. The girls are quite not united, and the 4 of us didnt really talk because there is some complication somewhere between us. When we found winston, its like the whole environment changed for me.. Winston like to crack alot lame jokes which can make me laugh like mad. How will things be without Winston? i really wonder.. lol.

I was feeling moody and weak today and winston noticed it, he knew what was it. I guess thats why he spoke so much lame-ness today to cheer me up.. such a sweetie *glad* and winston treated me movies and the movie was D.M.C (Detroit Metal City) haha... he pass me the jacket, and the first thing i did was smelling it... he kept smiling, and i was smiling too.. this time he passed for sure.

After which the group was split up, for dunno what reason... and i was with winston, he brought me to eat the tom yam.. haha... Nobody told him i like tom yam, he guessed it. And then and there we were eating and chatting alot... i cant help but to realise the more i look at him the better looking he became.. Oh well, the food was really nice... great taste winston *thumbs up*

it was 10.45pm then, he wants to send me home... i was very worried for him... because i was afraid he couldnt make it home. He kept saying dont worry, he can find a way. Its not suprising, Winston is a very resourceful guy. but im still worried. Then we took 157 to Boon lay interchange and he walked me to my doorstep, on the way when we were walking i told him that he's a really nice guy and im thankful for what he did for me. He said, he's supposed to... its dangerous at night.

he's not even my boyfriend and he could do so much for me... Isit because this guy is too good? or my bf was just doing smth normal for me? He's an eye-opener.. i should have higher expectations.

Now he's on his way home.. i wanan call him to check on how is he...

Intelligence

2009-04-02T05:43:00.000-07:00

I dunno whether is the stuffs i talked to him yesterday on msn or not. he kinda realised that my mind think very fast. Haha... then today Winston open youtube for me, joey and himself to watch, the name of the show is "Ghost game" im very afraid of ghost movies, however, since we are so bored.. we decided to just continue watching.

Well, for those who may not know me well yet, when im watching either tv or movies shows i will somehow say what the scene is going to be next or what the character is thinking and most of the time its correct. Then Winston said, do u always forsee the story of the show? haha... then after which after we had our lunch.. Winston asked alot of IQ questions..

Some of which are like There is a village of lies and a village of truth, and there's a man standing at the crossroad and you had no idea how to go to the village of truth, the man could be from the village of truth or lies... If u could only ask him one question or statement, what will it be?
( the question or statement must lead u to the truth village)
Ill tell u guys the ans when u all pm or sms me. Hahaha.

Then after solving that question he asked another question, similar but now harder. There is a village of lies and a village of truth, and this time there is two man standing at the crossroad, one man is the truth and the other is the lies. You must ask only one same question to the both of them. What will it be?

*Think... think...*

Joyce said ask them where is the village of truth, then winston said, the truth will tell the truth direction , and the lies will tell the opposite direction of truth... so you still dunno where is the village of truth.

Joyce and Joey spam alot of answer.. still cannot get..
then Winston realised i didnt even try any ans for that question..

I didnt think really hard.. actually i just try to look at it in a simple view. Then i answered, ask "where is your village?"
The truth will point the truth direction, and the lies will point the opposite direction... and the end result is the two villagers pointing the truth village.

Winston tried out my answer by narrating being the truth and lies villagers... and it simply worked out. HAHAha... He doubt my answer for around 15mins, he kept thinking and thinking about it and said that its impossible.. What a joker.. lol. Joey, Joyce and me looked at him and kept laughing. Joyce and Joey said, stop doubting my answer, like he's despising my intelligence like that. 3 of us want to know what was his answer.

and his model ans was, it is to ask "what will the other villager answer me?"
he explained that the truth will say the villager lies point to the lies direction, and the lies will say the truth point to the lies direction. So both villager will tell the Lies direction, and therefore the foreigner must take the opposite direction.

wa.. my ans so much simpler... so simple that Winston just look at me with that what the heck look and say, you're unbelievable. Hahaha.

From NCC?!

2009-04-01T05:55:00.000-07:00

What the heck Winston! you're from NCC plus u're a CLT in the Bartley Air Finest? Okay, Kelvin if you read this.. u get what i mean? LOL.

Winston

2009-04-01T05:12:00.001-07:00

Ive seen this guy for quite some time, since last sem. I never thought that we will be friends one day. He look very different from normal guys, its hard not to notice him hahx.. i never thought that deep inside him is a gentlemanly side of him, he treat a girl just as how a girl should be treated, he is sensitive about my feelings. I dun have to say a thing and he knows what to do.. There's this time im shivering in the design studio, i didnt voice out about it and little did i know that he cover his jacket over me, this means so much to me... im so please in the inside but i dunno how to express to him. I really appreciate it Winston, sorry if i hurt you the other time.

Haha.. i dunno to consider myself straight-forward or blunt, i smell something unique about his jacket it smelled like incense, so i asked him whether he is taoist, and he asked whether his jacket was smelly. omg.. i dun say things that are not... so i dunno how to ans him... but i dun think i ask anything near to the idea of smelly.

When i look at him, i know he felt hurt by my words and he said something that i really wanna change it.. he said, "okay, next time i should not lend my jacket to anyone". then he walked infront of me, i dunno how to explain....

So when we went back into the class room i approach him at his table, i try to talk about the game that he was playing. Then he said "does my jacket really smell? im really sorry about it", then i quicky tried to answer "nono, its that im sensitive", "but i really appreciate it, i was really cold". i knew in his mind that i really find the jacket smelly, but i simply dont lie... but neither do i wanan hurt his feelings.

He say he will wash his jacket for me to inspect tomorrow.. haha... and it failed, well i didnt say anything, does my expression give away so much? =/ lol.

So sorry Winston, i wanna tell you that your action is so unbelievable that i dun mind what type of jacket u will lend me... i want to exprience it again. haha. =)

I know that u know that i wont lie and say things irresponsibly, however dont put me in the spot its really hard to answer some of your question leh =/ lol.. although putting me in the spot u know the ans directly... really, i hate to hurt ppl's feelings. i can feel you dont like my ans and yet i cant say anything to cover myself.. i feel very angry about myself.

Plant

2009-03-31T05:11:00.000-07:00

I have this plant at home, i love it very much... I get mad when my brother or mom touches it, coz i know the plant felt painful when they did so. i get angry when my mom curse my plant too.. her mouth very foul one.. so far never heard any good comments from her.

I faithfully water the plant everyday, now it has grown all the way into my room... i bet the plant loves me too.. just that its unable to express itself to me, it bet its grateful that i water it everyday. I bet if it could speak, it will tell me how much it loves me and say sweet words to me everyday. Dont worry.. i hear you sweetie~ :)

Wanna hear songs from me? Do you want daddy to know how much you miss him?
haha.. it waves gently front and back.
okay then..

I like green, do you know what green signifies? green means rebirth and renewing. and do u know what my name means? my name Renee means "reborn". Just as you and me, we are made new... our pasts good or bad and shedded away from us totally.. old parts that shouldnt stay will fall away like dead leaves...

Colours:

The mirror reflects the illusion of a spirit.
Unnoticed, it picks up speed.
It is said that it's okay to go anywhere.
A broken wish makes everything all grey.

Tonight, a flame flickers and you draw your dream.
Isn't the tip of your brush thirsty?

If there's no blue sky unfold your blue umbrella.Isn't that good? The canvas is all yours.
That time I that I gave up, I only held a white flag over my head.
Now it's a deep red, like it's inviting the matador

A fluorescent light in which all colors are faded.
On top of a black and white chessboard, I met you.
In such a short time we grew close.
Do you remember one month from then?

It was good to just watch the setting sun and the orange sky with you.
Even though, an opening is the origin of disaster.
The times that we pray for the dead, we wear black clothes.
A rouge footprint purposely leaves behined a deep red color.

If you say to yourself..."You can draw only the pictures that don't have dreams."Keep drawing on that canvas.That time that I gave up, I only held a white flag over my head.Now, you don't know my true colors.

Babo

2009-03-30T06:20:00.000-07:00

Babo.. do you know whats babo? thats fool in Korean. If love was meant to be that beautiful, if love doesnt have to hurt, if love preserves...

It will only be possible when that person isnt a. Fool.

Baka... do you know whats baka? thats fool in Japanese. If love covers over multitude of sins, it can be that beautiful. If love protects, nobody will be hurt. If love preserves, there wont be jealousy and untrusting.

If i chose a Fool. Im the next Fool.

I dont care how the earth spins into a massive haywire of destruction. Sun rise from West and sets at East, the sky rains soda or if wings sprout out from my back like angel's. Love makes all things perfect.

Love is a personal relationship between two people. It is distinct.. there can never be another person who feels the same way, nor can outsiders understand fully. How can one love without accepting the other person?

If feel like singing, the song moves my body into motion.. let it move with the rhythm...
Yeah (love is breakin’). I know girl (you know my situation). Right time but I can’t (say goodbye). Girl (our separate ways). Saying that I love you don’t cha?

Don’t g-g-g-go don’t l-l-l-leave me and go I don’t have the c-c-c-confidence, don’t fool my t-t-t-two eyes Don’t g-g-g-go don’t l-l-l-leave me and go I’m s-s-s-still waiting for you like a f-f-f-fool

The withered rose bouquet, your scent still
Even though I want to erase it, it can’t be erased
Are you leaving only holding vague memories I loved everything about you
Why are we trying to go down different roads
You should have been truthful, you should have embraced me
I don’t know anything but you, you should have held me, you fool…

I still don’t understand love. Why do you keep getting farther away from me. Like a fool in front of your door. Hurt and turned away, only my sad image. Still unresolved misunderstandings Inside there’s a longing for the troubled you. I miss you so at least like this in your...
Heart I just want to live and breathe

I love you, I don’t love you You’re coming back, you’re not coming, I miss you…

I’ve cried all night, I’ve called out to an unresponsive you I’ve hid avoiding the world, the moment you left I’ve been dying Still not a single thing has changed The constantly deepening disease, only I’ve been hurting (This star) is (love) is tiring, you fool

Although I’m left alone inside me your memories hold onto me Don’t separate from the last leaf, grab my hand

Take all of the letters and pictures you gave to me Even if they’re thrown away they’re never erased from inside me Because of my hopeful heart I stay up all night again Will I not be able to let go of this little hope

Oh oh oh oh oh are you just getting farther away
Oh oh oh oh oh only my sad, turned away image

Children

2009-03-29T00:24:00.000-07:00

I had been helping out in GNK for a few times but i didnt know that this time is for real.. Auntie Jude nicely asked me whether i wanan help out in the children ministry for next month.. i was like O.o Alright, i dun have any prejudice against kids but when they get out of control, they are horrific. I went in the room today and it was "shopping day" whereby the kids use their points to buy items.. I saw jasca today, but not caleb... i realise that children are actually alright, but somehow i always encounter the more difficult ones, and i was just informed the two kids that i handle last week are those with special needs. If i decide to help in GNK i will be seeing them, guiding them, teaching them, playing with them... I dun wanna run away from difficulties, and i dun wanna not do things just because i do not like... if my effort can make a difference in someone else's life, i wont mind the trouble i need to go through. Anyways, i was once a child with special needs... Shhh....... xD
I remember how naughty i was, i remember how i bully other kids and how i beat up some teachers.. but hey, im just a kid.. and having special needs so when others could not understand me this is how i express myself. So looking at them now... they can never piss me nor disappoint me. coz i went through those before.. and i understand how they feel.. and i understand what are they thinking.. maybe this is why i am destined to touch difficult kids? i dunno... god have mercy on me =(
I really need some enlightenment... reveal to me your will, and it will be done.. if serving in the children ministry is what you want, then its done.

Too smart for you

2009-03-27T18:46:00.000-07:00

When i dont speak, doesnt mean that i do not care. When i do not have reaction means ive already predicted it. When i didnt do, doesnt mean that i do not know... my mind is far superior than yours. When you piss me, and i dont have any reaction... doesnt mean that you can scout free. When i wanan hold on to you.. you cant run... hahahahaha *evil laughters*

Too bad Eddie.. did your overconfidence took the better of you? I took your blows when i was weak.. it only made me stronger... your thought u put me down, but because of that i know your thoughts, i know your weakness and shortcomings. Do you thought nothing will happen to you? Ahahaha... i feel so sorry for you...

You didnt thought that your friend will turn against you heh? your right hand man is taken away.. what can u do with your remaining strength against me? nobody taught you benevolence? How can you forget people around you when you made it up there? these people provide you the shelter the food to make you strong.. now you look down at them? just as friends or brothers, communication is important.. u care about your own interests, you want to be the best of the best, so self-centred.. you dont want your friends to rise above you. Go.. go... keep things to yourself.. hold on to them into your grave. So what if your'e free from the bondages between your closeties? you dont have to take any responsibility when they are in trouble.. no obligations.. you live for yourself.

Man had always needed each other. blessed are those who fell and a friend to lift them up, woe to those who fall but no one to lift them up. Now, you fell beneath my feet.. though i wont ask you to clean my feet... the sight of you digusts me.

Video Mania

2009-03-25T04:54:00.000-07:00

Joyce and me had been watching video for the past few days. Death note, though the plot of the anime is way out for me, coz of the death god, eye, notebook? haha.. but the cruelty of mankind is still the same. at first i like Misa though i haven watched any death note movie or stuffs, after watching this anime... began to hate her. I hate childish girls, there's better way to express love than to kill innocent people. The worst type of love is the inconsiderate love... Well, she's stupid anyways. =/

Its been so long since we last felt each other's heartbeat, so long since i saw your smile.

Im so sorry, but i love you.

im so sorry (so sorry), but i love you.

(i love you more and more)

I can never be this, can never be that, you, name it, can never ever. I dont wanna look into the mirror every morning thinking about the emptiness my heart. I hate this...

Call me last morning, saying you wanna see me anytime before 6pm, i dont feel a thing.. im so sick, but i love you. Wanan see you, so sick. Just so sick when i think of you.. so damn sick... why do you have to allow such things to happen to me? why do you always have plans and thoughts which im kept in the dark? why do u say you love me when you didnt warn me about this shit? Do you know shit? I so sorry, you hate shit.. but how the shit you know shit let the Shitty SHIt-shit happen to become this Super Sucko Shito-yoyo~

I dont want you crying anymore. I dont need this sympathy. I dont mind, I am strong.

Im so sorry, i love you, i dont mind.

Hosanna

2009-03-22T01:21:00.000-07:00

Today was Constance's birthday, and i happen to be in GNK during the surprise. Hope you like my prezie! xD I dont really like children, but i somehow was there with the kids. They were very hectic, as usual... and i helped to handle the kids, and i was given the two most playful ones.. I got a headache telling them to follow instructions.. lol.. but when i stroke them on their heads, they became little angels.. still naughty but less resistant.
It amazes me. No matter how they bad and defiant they are, i still care and love them. I could never get angry with them, they may do wrong but they are innocent. Today i played with boyboy Caleb, he seems to not understand anything he is vulnerable to anybody... he doesnt know the bad side of this world.. he is so protected. I really wish he can grow up to become a fine man. keeping all of what GNK taught him... one day maybe, protecting me back when im old and weak.. for now... i wanna see him through...

In this life, there's none greater than you, none i will give u up for. U gave much, i received little. U hear me, i cant hear you. You are so far from me, yet you're just next to me. I was hurt and u cried the world with rain. I ran away from you times and times again, i fall and injured myself, but u always came and patch me up again, how does a person like me deserve such love from you? Last on my mind when i do not need you, first when i needed you the most. Your love for me is greatly shortchanged.

Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

Still little.. still small... this isnt my prime.

Nobody

2009-03-20T21:22:00.000-07:00

You know I still love you baby
And it will never change

Chorus:
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I don’t want anyone else
I can’t have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody, nobody nobody
Why are you trying to push me away? I hate it.
You ignore what I am saying
Why are you trying to send me to other guys?
Why are you doing this?
Saying that this is for my own good
Saying that you are just not enough
Stop it right now, you know me well enough
Why are you forcing what you know I don’t want?

Chorus x2
I’m satisfied, I’m happy
If I have you I don’t want for anything else
Who do you want me to meet and be happy with?
I can’t be happy away from your side
Saying that this is for my own good
Saying that you are just not enough
Why can’t you understand that it makes no sense?
How can I be happy without you?

Chorus x2
I don’t want nobody, body body
I don’t want nobody, body body
Really, if it is not you
I hate it!

Chorus x2
Back to the days
When we were so young
And wild and free
Everything was just like a dream
I want to go back to those times
Why do you keep on pushing me away?
Why do you push me away?
I don’t want nobody, nobody
Nobody nobody but you

Nobody Nobody... Only you only you... <3

Results

2009-03-19T18:46:00.000-07:00

I know my result isnt fantastic but its a achievement form me =) actually i dont think my effort deserve the score. God had been so good to me, blessing me with the correct teachers and correct friends.. or else i dont think i can get this. haha.. well.. check my results out =)

Thanks Wisdom.. you are the biggest credit of my result, your great patience and kindness paid off. God definitely will bless you greatly too.. i wish you happiness with your attachment haha.. =) and this is my first time not having a C in my result slip. haha.. Praise to the highest!

Hang Out

2009-03-19T01:37:00.000-07:00

It was a random but yet not so random outing. It was during my school time when Ben called me, to ask me out after school. Well, Ben is a sociable guy so its not surprising, but its surprising on the timing in. So after school i rush down to Dohby Ghaut interchange, haha.. i saw him waiting for my earnestly... he's so worried i get missing, well.. i always do. The first few sentence he told me when we met were.. "i broke up with her" and i was smiling, what the heck.. i think that did pissed him off alittle.. i wasn't smiling about his broke up, just happy to see him after a long day. Well, really sorry ben for being rude =/

The whole day ben was having fun, together with me, joseph and james.... Goosh, james... he's a really charming guy.. just looking at his smile can brighten up your day. haha. Oooh well, so cool.... i dun hang out with guys but they are my closety thats why i dont mind =)

throughout our game, i sense something different from ben, he seems impulsive.. over reactive? Well, i personally always ignore small details. I just wanna Own him. Lol. but too bad he's beyond my reach.

After which, i accompany the group for dinner, i didnt eat. Cuz mom already bought me food. Then suddenly he got a phone call, he rush to a corner of the building whereby the group cant see him, we didnt suspect anything though, we were talking rubbish. When he came back i saw his eyes covered with a layer of tears his nose was alittle red... Duh, the guys in the group didnt notice it. Only girls care about such details yeah? thats when i knew what this outing was about.. He wants company.
And thats when i feel so useless.. when did i begin to be so indifferent? i was always there when he needed to talk and be there be accompany him... now i cant even sense his sadness till its too late, when we needed to go home already.

I meet a new fren today, named Kevin, Joseph's fren. He is a really nice and gentlemanly guy. Totally OPPOSITE FROM JOSEPH! joseph always left me in a luanch. During a camp, a guy and a girl is supposed to partner each other, and the guy duh.. is to protect the girl.. however it seems more like im protecting him, i got torch light and handphone while he didnt have anything, and im like his tanker, i took all the "damage" from the incoming "ghosts", then this "ghost" could even hold on to me for 3minutes while joseph just stand somewhere and luagh. =.= Heng got Kevin, or else dunno how Joseph is going to bring me home from there manx.. lol.

Miss you guys. love you people. *cherish*

Poker Face

2009-03-17T05:57:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! those of you who had been wanting me to change the song? lol.. Check Diz Out~

Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah

I wanna hold em' like they do in Texas Plays
Fold em' let em' hit me raise it baby stay with me (I love it)
Luck and intuition play the cards with Spades to start
And after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be
A little gambling is fun when you're with me I love it)
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun, fun

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

I won't tell you that I love you
Kiss or hug you
Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin
I'm not lying I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue-gunning
Just like a chick in the casino
Take your bank before I pay you out
I promise this, promise this
Check this hand cause I'm marvelous

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

Nooo... noo!! cant read my POKER FACE! ill get him hot and show him what i got, i dont love nobody.. im not going to show him that i love him.
haha.. Aww~ i do love you alot dear! my loving never stops.love u lots~ show u what i got~

Survey for Sumo Robot

2009-03-17T01:45:00.000-07:00

Hey guys really need your help to help me to do this survey. Pls just take a few seconds to just anyhow do for me also can. i need it. THANK YOU! although u dunno what is a sumo-robot never mind. i just need the satistics xD

Click Here to take survey

Together again

2009-03-15T19:53:00.000-07:00

It had been a long long time since i last really went out with Ben. Haha, yesterday we had a great day together, we hang out like how we usually did. Then we talked to each other about how we told each other long time ago that we will not get a gf or bf, but we did. HAha! and i hears him talk abt his gf.. very interesting.. Well, Ben... i think u're better a fren than a lover. haha.. Had fun with Amen yesterday? lol. Then we went to play badminton. GOsh! how long was it? i cannot move already manx.. haha.. ben and Joseph will tell you guys how much they suffered partnering me. lol. well i gain back some skills in the end, i just need refreshment.. okays, ben... dun suan me. Plus during the match the opponent keep hitting to you. i cant do anything haha... then we ate Botack Jones together, Joseph actually wanted sakae sushi, then i said too exp, then in the end i spent $14 eating in botak jones.. haha.. i coulda spent lesser if i were in sakae.

Anyways actaully plan to go ben's house to play Dota. then too bad very late le. I WISH I CAN STAY OVER BEN! but i cant.. wait till im 21 xD haha.. and ill pray hard you pass your driving test.. then u can drive me home without worrying the time.. hahx. Yesteday was simply just so fun, lets do it again! =D

DBSK

2009-03-12T04:57:00.000-07:00

I GOT YOUuuuuu......................... UNDER MY SKIN!

Karim Rashid

2009-03-11T06:09:00.000-07:00

At first when i heard of the name. I thought he's a Malay. Hahx.. nope.. this renowned designer is a Caucasian. Today the some of my classmates and i went to his talk, its 50 bucks per entrance however we got it free xD and... the topic is about "shaping the globalandskape" He talk alot abt the present and past. He says to become pinker, forget everything about the past, clean yourself of any trace of nostalgia... Wad a topic.. i know it sounds silly... however sometimes silliness is linked to profound intelligence.. Before i even went to his talk, ive already learn to forget abt the past since sec 2... now im a veteran of forgetting the past haha.. I want to be free.. i wana fly into the sky, sit on the clouds and play the harp, no pain no joy.. just the present and simple satisfactions.

I remember during my sec sch days, my sch need to cross 2 profound traffic lights.. Many students just jaywalked anyways, coz the two traffic light dont make sense, just need one traffic light and save the time to wait for the second traffic light =.= anyways... so, im one of the jaywalkers duh... many times when i cross this road there's this floating sensation, and the brain was immediately lifted up high from my head... feel like nothing on my mind... my footsteps became lighter, its like im drifting pass the road.. The road is normally dark, and when anybody turn his/her head to look at the cars its normally too close already. Everytime i walked that road, there's always this voice that told me "just let it hit you, it will be over.. all your pains will be over... you dont have to suffer anymore." Its a sweet submission to that voice..

3 students died on that road over just 2 years.. The spirit lingers in the trees nearby... its windy and cold, the breeze caresses my cheeks, come on over...

Its hard to understand the feeling of leaving everything, the true feeling of being free.. Until you encounter a "spirit leaving body" experience.

Ip Man

2009-03-09T06:13:00.000-07:00

This movie i watched quite long ago. around 3-4days ago? lol. i ws too lazy to blog abt it. and suprisingly its still in my mind! O.o eversince when i was a young girl, well.. i bet all girls experience that till now.. girls talked about what type of guys do they like. And man... i couldnt ans this question until today. Good guys are simply, too good to be put into words. feelings cannot be expresses into alphabets...

The whole show really just showed this guy that i soso loved inwardly. His character is just so swee... if i am asked wad kinda guy i like, i would say just watch "ip man".

See how guys nowadays get taunted and they fear? and submit? this guy know his status, he aint afraid once in the show a bad guy said "i heard ure a man who fears his wife, now i can see why" and ip man simply said "in this world there is no husband who fears his wife but husband who respect his wife". And there were times when he can gain, but because of his great plight, he didnt accept these cheap offers... he's humble, kind and sentimental. He fights for justice and willing to lay down his life to sought revenge for the innocent people. Though his wife was not thoughtful for his for the first few scenes, however its also because she wants ip man to spend with the family and she doesnt mind wadeva decision ip man makes as long as she's together with him. How sweet ehh? if i got such a husband.. i am willingly to give up everything just to follow him too..

This guy is really hot.. guys will salute him too.. this movie is a must watch =)

And oh ya... i know my blog's music is already boring for most of you.. BUT~ i simply cannot find a better music to replace my "wife's" one. I still like it btw xD

Mount Faber

2009-03-04T02:17:00.000-08:00

It was on Monday, however i got the pics just yesterday. haha.. We went through thick and thin during our hiking. It was just a 5 hours walk but it seems forever, we even camped somewhere to sleep halfway through. Its a sunny and hot day and as u can see my hair turned messy and i cant open my eyes to the camera lol.

Taby tried to "save" the bugs and this bug is one of which she "saved" well.. it seems like it wants to be alone and will sucide if Taby comes any closer. lol.

Wisdom and Me.

Me, Taby and Wisdom. Monkey of the day =)
.

Then we went to eat our lunch which none of them was happy abt the food except me xD and after which we went to buy stuff and i manage to buy a COMB after 6mnths! Roar~ i had fun being with u guys. Muarcks! NEXT STOP... TO WISDOM'S HOUSE. ROAR! LOL =)

Memoirs of Geisha

2009-03-03T06:07:00.000-08:00

i watched the movie "memoirs of geisha" yesterday with my bro. he finds it boring obviously.. then dunno why he still wanna continue watching one nehx.. then throughout the whole movie he irrtates me.. =.= lol.

The story talks about a little girl being sold into servitude order to pay the debt of her mother's medical bills. Being a little girl she cannot understand why is she in another place and why she needs to work so hard under someone else's shether. She smuggled alot and cause problems.. in the end the master was angry and showed her the belongings of her late parents. Thats when she knew her struggles are for nothing and not only that.. because of the problems she caused she now had to pay back her master by being a slave not a Geisha.
so one day when she was crying a benevolent man(chairman) came to her and bought her sweet ice and gave her a hankerchief, thats when she fall in love and wanted to be a geisha to become a part of The Chairman’s life. She became determined to be a Geisha.
By luck that her prayers were answered she was bought over by the rival. For a geisha, its was said that they cannot love, they are a moving peice of art to entertain men. So she managed to become the most desired geisha to find the chairman however she could not be with him.

Sometimes in life, just be glad that there was a chance to be close enough than never.

then it eventually reminds me of this video which my bro showed to me a week ago =.=

Back to inhumane humans

2009-02-28T04:55:00.000-08:00

I've walked on earth for 19 years now.. many irritating and despicable people I've seen before.. people slandering, wronging others, blaming, accusing... its not surprising that people hold anger in their hearts towards to these people... i remember uncle Kenny talking bout rotten potatoes, everytime a child got angry the teacher would put a potato in his bag, soon the bag grew heavy and it started to reek of rotten potatoes.. and the child even got used to the smell, he even loved the smell.. it was a sweet sensation to him thinking about how he could take revenge on the people who hurt him. people around the boy can smell stench.. other people can feel it. people can see.. dont think that others do not know wads in you.

for me i dont hold grudges.. i always dun keep them more than a day.. its just me.. im always ready to forgive all the hurts even when others dont need my forgiveness. however trusting them is much harder than before. Though sometimes i seem like i do not care or i do not know.. i do know many things happening around me.. people are changing, being cruel, selfish, only think abt "they,themselves and them" people who were once nice and kind changed to be bad because they could not get wad they wanted. Even when we couldnt understand why people do certain things that really pisses us off... make it a point to let it go... be free, dont keep the load of rotten potatoes.. the load will be so heavy one day that it takes the toll of u.

Today i saw this documentary its about the tortures in the olden days. One of which i think its the most sadistic and most cruel is the "bull of Phalaris"

so wad is this bull about?

it was said that this bull is made of copper and there's a heating system below the bull's belly. There's a cover at the back of the bull which is use to lock the victim inside, a complex system of tube is made in the head of the bull which is for the victim to scream into and create the sound of the bull.

The artist showed the Phalaris his invention and believed that he will gain a reward. the artist told the Phalaris that this bull will produce the sound of the bellowing of a infuriated bull. So Phalaris told him to test it for him to hear, in the end when the artist was inside blowing the "trumpet" in the bull, the Phalaris shut the back of the bull and started the fire.. and it worked as promised.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MouXIn8VWdk

When i saw the documentary i am so glad i didnt live during that time. As long as the Phalaris like it.. he threw people in just for the entertainment of "bull's music" and the smell of burnt human incense during his feasting. Not only the condemned are threw in, many innocent people were tortured too. If i were the Phalaris's slave.. i think ill be one of the first to be thrown in already =/

So really makes me think, if people really hold anger.. they wanna take revenge so much, their mind think of really cruel thoughts of taking revenge. One day they cannot feel the pain they can do to others, sympathy into sensation. and it hurts so good to let go of such sensations. And they cannot see humans as humans anymore.. they could only see themsleves as humans and others as animals... their own desires are more important than the feeling of others. "someone took my seat, throw them in the bull", "ok.. he stole my things, he shall be in the brazing bull", "he accuse me for nothing, in the bull u go~". One day people would really change to be so degrading.. concerned only about their own interests, and rotten potatoes that can accumulated so much as the flow of the legacy of the Bull of Phalaris.

End of exams

2009-02-26T19:31:00.000-08:00

Cool. its the end of exams and i didnt post anything yesterday coz of some reasons. Hahx.. yesterday i went chalet with my classmates and joey brought Franz, and nope, i dun feel like the lightbulb.. its normally the single people who always feel that they are the lightbulb... From boon lay all the way to pasir ris, and didnt get to ate the bbq in the end coz it was raining lol.. well, took many picutres though, very ugly ones.. im still waiting for Joey to send me. hahx. left the place ard 6pm? and reach home around 11.30. mrt broke down. and the bus took the 3 of us close to 4 hrs to reach home.. Goosh, the singapore goverment really know how to cheat money.. things just get spoil here and there and they just Suck on ur COLD_HARD CASH. Well, i got concession for the bus and the dumb tap thingy didnt work. and i need to pay 2.50 for the dumb ride. Damn shit.. stay at hm better. lol.

today was a peaceful day hahx.. i wanan slack frm all the hardwork. im waiting for attachment, hopefully the attachment is with sch, coz joey says its better. well, hope so.. i dun wanna end up in some dumb places anyway. and hopefully SOMEONE"S UNCLE CAN HIRE ME? lol... (P.S u know who) that will be few years later if it really happens, well yeah.. i want to be with people that i know.. the world is not rotating perfectly anymore, people taking advantage here and there. so okokok? remember to ask ur UNCLE. lol.

Ive manage to find a really cool game. Well. to me its cool. its called " Travian" its a afk game.. so its like u got ur own piece of land, u run it.. and u can build many stuffs, trade, marketing and signing treaty with other nations and stuff. so yeah.. this morning some one tried to raid me.. and i bet tt person is disappointed.. coz i hide all my goodies SOMEWHERE.. hahahaha. I KNOW U"RE READING MY BLOG LOSER! Most probably that will be the game ill be play for this holidays haha.. ONE DAY ILL RAID U BACK U BADIE!

Oh ya.. i plan to for for friday cell today which starts at 8pm. ill update this post once i had fun and come back xD for now TATA~

To my Closeties.

2009-02-22T06:51:00.000-08:00

Today early in the morning i smsed alot of people.. i was suprised that Constance happen to sms me when i was doing so.. lucky for her, if were slping she could never get the msg to me. Haha.. she said 9.45 must reach church.. HUH? Constance... wads the special event? cannot la.. i receive msg that time is 8.30 nehx. lol.. next time inform me in advance thankies! and ya.. ur short msgs are brief but powerful.. boost me alot.. i can do revision start after lunch.. Haha.. she's the only fren that dare to tick me when im not doing the right stuff... kinda appreciate tt anyway, sometimes i really need to be awaken.

Haven seen u for a long time! SEE YA SOON!

I went to do my revision at bukit timah macs today. and woo... when i was in the bus i saw my fren climbing into macs.. i know its not suprising.. but somehow i find it funny leh? isit because im too stress? LOL. i shoulda video it down. and u are one of my besties frens too.. so nice and thoughtful, a good fren to befriend with. Appreciate god for all these people.. How would life be without them? cant imagine... And dun worry.. after our exams ill treat u a bunch of BANANAS. haha. and the flyingduchman video u sent me was really funny HAHA LMAO... CYA TMW!

Oh ya.. the last fren... im going to spend time after i shower and about to sleep.. coz constance told me so. lol. not really.. coz of love and joy tt wanan spend the time haha... talk to u in...... 1hr time. Muarcks! love you.

Happy Moments

2009-02-20T05:43:00.000-08:00

hahx! today i got a special rendevous with someone ^^ i finsihed my EM3B and WOo! if that agreement works out well i may not be even staying in Singapore, ill be flying overseas to work and enjoy life there.. just wad i wanted... freedom and only me, myself and i. Bye people gonna love u lots if that day comes.

快乐崇拜

忘记了姓名的请跟我来现在让我们向快乐崇拜放下了包袱的请跟我来传开去建立个快乐的时代快乐到底属于那个年代 70 80 90 还是Y世代翻开历史课本答案就算仔细找也会找不到背也会背不好放松让我来说什么年代吹着什么样的风我拿着我的麦克风唱出OLD SCHOOL SHOW YALL READY TO ROLL 70的年代复古我最HIGH DISCO FEVER 从来不肯SAY GOODBYE 只有放放放克才能酷男男女女老老小小我们穿着喇唯裤爆炸头望春风左右摇摆上下一指神功黑白电视可能无法感受但相信你们可以悟出黑色幽默忘了你存在有什么期待欢乐你邀请它一定来与其渴望关怀不如一起精彩快乐会传染请你慷慨COME ON *相恋的失恋的请跟我来一边跳一边向快乐崇拜开心不开心的都跟我来美丽而神圣的时光不等待到了80年代要喊什么 B BOYS B GIRLS LET'S MAKE SOME NOISE 要穿什么呢H MMMM... 紧裤子紧上衣秀出你的身材有人露金牙千万不要惊讶嘻哈正在发芽别拔它假牙 LOCKIN POPPIN WE DANCING AIN'T NO LIFE THAT'S RIGHT 跟我一起唱快乐崇拜快乐无害虽然快乐像个病毒病毒会传染 90年代我们等待千禧年 PARTY 电子音乐疯狂玩整夜 HIP HOP FOR LIFE THAT'RIGHT 每个人嘴里喊着WESTSIDE 管你是不是真正PARTY 天才扬起你的嘴角跟我快乐崇拜 *忘了你存在有什么期待欢乐你邀请它一定来与其渴望关怀不如一起精彩快乐会传染请你慷慨COME ON 现代这个匆忙时代虽然少了时间但千万不要倦怠今天的事交给今天去做因为明天才有很多时一起去疯 YO放肆的节奏看你放肆的互动看你放肆的感动看我放肆的创作要我怎么再说 PEPOLE FEEL MY FLOW 我拿着我的麦克风唱出快乐的SHOW

Aww.. isnt he cute? he simply knows how im feeling.. and he sings according to mood to makes me happy.. u're soso adorable, handsome and sweet. U know just wad u are doing, U will never do keep any things from me, always letting me know everything about u A-Z, so strong in ur character. lets see when we are free and able to see each other again. Dun let me down.. u never left me alone when i needed u. Ill be depending on you. Muarcks.

And ya, its true u're really cute, some people like to seek attention and ACT CUTE. But ya, u dun have to do anything.. and girls will find u cute already. haha... REMEMBER TO TEACH ME OKAYS!! see ya soon!

Superwoman

2009-02-16T05:31:00.000-08:00

Early in the morning, I put breakfast at your table 一夜都没睡但我不曾如此清醒我早餐准备了你爱吃的东西这次换我等你被咖啡的香味叫醒想要找回每天早晨对我微笑着的你还能够做些什么代替我的歉意总是望着我小心翼翼顺着我呼吸而我竟然理所当然让你精疲力尽 You are my superwoman 安静的在身边无条件给我梦寐以求的温柔 But I am only human 我怎么不懂你多寂寞残忍的犯了错不能失去你 Ooh—Babe--- You fought your way through the rush hour Try to make it home just for me 月光下静静靠着彼此只求夜长一点有多久没有好好看你只是认定了我无论在什么时候回头都有你的笑容是我忽略了你也会有想要哭的感觉没有一种付出应该永远心甘情愿再给被宠坏的男人最后一次机会换我忍耐换我等待不要真的弃权 You are my superwoman 安静的在身边无条件给我梦寐以求的温柔 But I am only human 我怎么不懂你多寂寞残忍的犯了错不能失去你 Ooh—Babe--- 是我把爱想得太简单以为只要我存在就能让你取暖心里唯一的 superwoman 没有人能代替不能想像更不能原谅这样让爱化成灰烟 You are my superwoman 安静的在身边无条件给我梦寐以求的温柔 But I am only human 希望这是一个是一个人我怎么不懂你多寂寞残忍的犯了错不能失去你 Ooh—Babe--- If you feel it in your heart and you understand me. STOP right where you are, everybody sing along with me. You are my superwoman 安静的在身边无条件给我梦寐以求的温柔 But I am only human 我怎么不懂你多寂寞残忍的犯了错不能失去你 Ooh—Babe--- You are my superwoman 安静的在身边无条件给我梦寐以求的温柔 But I am only human 我怎么不懂你多寂寞残忍的犯了错不能失去你 Ooh—Babe---

Today was such a fruitful day. i finished one exam paper.. woo.. and my fren's MP3 is just soo cool.. i can nv study 5 hrs straight without it. thanks pal. tomorrow im studying again. u are just so patient and cool, after exams i will definately bring u to my favourite get aways! woot.. cheers to our exams..

Thinking. Maybe.

2009-02-15T04:12:00.000-08:00

My dearest fren couldnt make it to go out with me today. but its ok. mon or tues we'll go out again. so today i stayed at hm the whole day, i starved at hm. However i like it. its better than being stressed about work in sch. Geez.. there's so many stuffs i still had to do. RESUME? omg. when i need to hand in that? i hate those stuffs, need to recall all the stuffs and wirte down.. Hmm... after my exams i got a big plan.. its in my mind, i haven thought of wad is it yet.. but definately to enjoy myself... and i promised myself to read book today. so i better do. RENEE FASTER GO READ BOOK!

hahx! confirm that im going to sch tomorrow with a fren to do my beloved studies! hahax... Oh btw kelvin asked if he can go then he wont mind to treat me a meal. THEN WHY DIDNT U ASK ME?!! i angry le.. lol... im submiting my resume tomorrow, gonna crap alot about myself.. say something like smart, sexy, diligent my achievements are... champianship in dota. YEA~ there u go... my resume for u mr Richard.

Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T07:28:00.000-08:00

Today i spent my valentines with a fren. Really great to have this kinda fren, when u are most down and sad, always there to pick u up.. sometimes frens can really be water thicker than blood. Thanks pal for teaching me maths, and my valentine is made complete by u ^^ i hope know u more as time goes by.

Happy Valentines to you!

End of Misery for now

2009-02-13T06:34:00.000-08:00

ROAR! i just finished my MDA2 test, i can pass.. but well.. i wanna do well in this coz my EUCD gonna sucks. finished my presentations too. Im free for now.. next week and the week after is exams, wish me luck manx. tmw is v day and someone is not avialable.. im sososo disappointed.. ill be studying on that day. how emo. i think i should even buy flower for myself. smell it, sniff it.. just like any emo will do. Muarcks xD

Little Mermaid

2009-02-12T06:07:00.001-08:00

My childhood fairytale princess.. hehe... of all the snow white, sleeping beauty.. I want to be little mermaid. I wanted to watch "ponyo" partly because of this reason. However, someone couldnt watch with me HmmHmm...

Nerd

2009-02-12T06:04:00.001-08:00

Studying very hard now.. so stressed up. My timeslots are packed. For saturday, well.. someone is busy.. and i will spend my time studying again. Studies is becoming my bf soon. OMG! my head hurts.. I feel like crying =( i study until i can vomit, diahearrea and dizziness.
Ill make sure i enjoy after these ROAR!

Dominated by Pisces

2009-02-11T06:56:00.000-08:00

I wanted to write blog yesterday but i couldnt. Ive been so busy nowadays, things actaully could go smoothly and done fast. But however, i partner with this project mate who is perfectionist. Ohh man! the slightest details who would care? and for that slight stuff redo the whole stuff.. not only that. she told me to do drawings then she changes her mind, and asked me to draw new drawings of what she presumably better. There's no such thing as perfect stuff in the world, and gosh its so true the keep having fualts with wadeva stuff we produced.. keep redoing, never ending man. i redo 3 times le... Argh!
She's very keng, she can dont eat whole day nothing happen one, she can do project the world day nonstop. Damn pro. She expects the same from me, so impossible. She's squeezing every ounce of strength from me.. i feel so raped man.. OMG! i reach home a lifeless piece of meat.
Doing so much work really is torturing, i wan sayang sayang!!! someone PAmPER ME PLS! =(...

Renewing my heart for u

2009-02-09T05:25:00.000-08:00

I remembered 2 years ago, ive started written journal of my everyday walk with u. I remembered how i used to wrote till my hand ached so much. but my hand just kept going, there's so much things i wanna tell u.. so much thing i wanna know about u... its boundless... i want more of you. Now i have a blog, i wanna dedicate it to you too, just like how i dedicated my journal to you. I am not complete, im always saying things not directly, but u know wad i meant.
I know how i fell out of that habit, not my lack of love for u. Just that my earthly humane body cant keep up with it. My soul and heart still burns... I will not go weary and ill soar like eagles. U understand me.. u know my every thought even without me saying... u just want me to express wadeva there is to u.
U're still my no.1, nothing before you.
Exodus 20:4-6: U said u were jealous?
last Sunday i understand what that means, it means that because u know that u're the best for me and nothing else can treat me with more goodness than u do, therefore it aches u to see me being taken away.
Ive been so bad. I dunno wad to say about myself, but u picked me up all the time.
It for u, only U. No compromise, its time now...

A GaGa Obsession

2009-02-09T03:59:00.000-08:00

GaGa in Da house. There's no need to fight for her, she was with me all the time ^^

Scandalous

2009-02-08T05:45:00.000-08:00

Date: On the 8/2/09
Anonymous person stole wife picture and put on his display pic.

Not Only that..
Anonymous person wrote this:

Zephie says:
the one not wearing uni?
[ 0v3 ] There's only 1 way. 2 say. 3 words. Thats wad ill do. I love you. Renee says:
ya... his rank very high
Zephie says:
he knwow anot?
[ 0v3 ] There's only 1 way. 2 say. 3 words. Thats wad ill do. I love you. Renee says:
know wad?
Zephie says:
that u like him la
Zephie says:
omg
[ 0v3 ] There's only 1 way. 2 say. 3 words. Thats wad ill do. I love you. Renee says:
ofcoz la.. we tgt for 9 mtnhs liao leh
Zephie says:
he your bf ar?
Zephie says:
LOL
[ 0v3 ] There's only 1 way. 2 say. 3 words. Thats wad ill do. I love you. Renee says:
ya
[ 0v3 ] There's only 1 way. 2 say. 3 words. Thats wad ill do. I love you. Renee says:
LOL
Zephie says:
then still say u like a guy
Zephie says:
=.=
Zephie says:
your bf already what
[ 0v3 ] There's only 1 way. 2 say. 3 words. Thats wad ill do. I love you. Renee says:
correct wad
[ 0v3 ] There's only 1 way. 2 say. 3 words. Thats wad ill do. I love you. Renee says:
i like wad
[ 0v3 ] There's only 1 way. 2 say. 3 words. Thats wad ill do. I love you. Renee says:
bf means dun like meh?

This anonymous person very blurr.

Dolls

2009-02-07T21:31:00.001-08:00

My fetish for dolls nv end. I post this up partly because to cover the empty spaces of my blog haha.. Lady GaGa too have a fetish for dolly stuffs, look at her, she looks like a doll too.. thats no wonder i like her too.. Speaking about dolls, makes me think of someone.......

Lady GaGa

2009-02-07T21:24:00.000-08:00

This is Lady Gaga! She is so hot.. she always wear high V-shaped bottoms. And her moves are sexy. I wanna be like her one day, WOOT! =)

My Gratitude

2009-02-07T18:56:00.000-08:00

Thanks Yifan for helping me make my blog more lifely. Hahx.. goosh.. this guy got alot of pathience, ppl who know me will understand why. Haha. I know Yifan thru my "best fren" Marilyn, its already around 7years ago already. THANK U VERY MUCH! REMEMBER TO TAG ME AND VISIT MY BLOG! xD

And secondly, to Yong Xiang. seriously dun understand this guy. SoOoooo Kaypo, he keep asking me many questions then by the time he finish asking a about to help me, Yifan already settled it.. Tze tze tze. Yong Xiang ar Yong Xiang.... LOL

First post

2009-02-07T06:57:00.000-08:00

This is my first Post for today. Moto? Rendezvous with the past and future, every moment of life is dependant on past and future. each second im typing here, its a letter in the past. Every thought i think before i type is the future of this blog. The present? just rock on as much as u can GET LOW and Shake It!

MUARCK! love u la...